Touching children’s hearts

Touching children's hearts

My first reading close to my Swiss hometown: all 30 chairs at the Bistro Bechandra in Elgg were taken.

What are the most touching moments during the readings of children’s books?

My very special moments are when small girls and boys start telling things like about a cat, who came to their house, who did this and that and how that felt or like today, how a small boy told a long, long story with plenty of unimportant details about moving and so on in order to reveal at the end how it was that the cat purred.

It is amazing to realize that my story about the boy Leonard and the cat named Loulou resonates with children.

But not only with children… Another touching moment was when an adult told me at my very first reading that my story reminded her so much of her beloved dog from childhood that she was moved to tears. Or one colleague bought my story because when he was a kid, his cat always walked him to school as Loulou does with Leonard in my story.

Today, at my first reading close to my Swiss hometown Winterthur, I didn’t expect a big audience. Fifteen minutes before the start, half of the restaurant was full of joyful, small and big children and even elderly people, and at the start, all 30 chairs were taken.

What a moment to stand in front of this big audience and to see all these open eyes and minds to listen to me!

I’ve been reading stories to children since many years. My two boys, now 13 and 15 and in puberty, listened to me every night. We read together so many books, we read all books written by Astrid Lindgren. We travelled with Jim Knopf and Lukas, the train conductor. We suffered with the figures of Brother Grimm, and when we didn’t have a book at our hands, I started inventing stories about an elephant who was too big because he loved eating, and how many times, my boys told me to continue the story about Frederic, the elephant.

Reading to a big audience like today is completely different. It is strange because I am not that close to the children and I cannot feel exactly how they perceive the story. That’s why I love to ask questions in between in order be able to hear what they have understood and what they have been thinking of it.

One thing I was reassured of today: Animals like cats and dogs have such a big impact on people’s lives.

It gives so much color to my life with my two sons. Besides, our cat story only started five years ago with two cats. Then, Loulou joined us, gave birth to four babies. We kept two of them. Meanwhile, we only have three cats because one of the babies decided to stay at the neighbor’s house. I could tell so many stories about our cats, how they disappeared, how we found them again, how many dead mice, but even more living mice had visited us, and how many of them, I had to catch. Funny moments, I can tell!

The sequel to the first book won’t talk about mice but will be the story about «Leonard and Lea», and there will be a dog playing a big role together with the cat Loulou. The story is already complete in my mind, and more than three-quarter of it written down. As soon as I have some quiet moments without running after mice, I will get it finished.

Encouraging people to write their books

Encouraging people to write their books

My first meeting with over 30 Swiss female writers gave me a lot of inspiration.

I’ve been writing since I am 12 or 13. I filled up many journals with my thoughts, and I always dreamt of writing a book. But, and this is something which I discovered this very year, I was scared of publishing my thoughts, because people would judge me, and I did not stand this idea of putting myself in a public place and giving others the chance to put me down.

I was writing a lot as a journalist for newspapers and magazines some years ago. But this wasn’t that difficult for me because I was writing about other people’s opinions and I did not have to expose myself too much.

Publishing my first book, a children’s book called «Leonard and Loulou» this spring, gave me such a great pleasure and self-confidence. Of course, I was very skeptical at the beginning because again, I was afraid of other people’s judgment. Getting more and more nice feedbacks to the story about a boy and a cat, touching people’s heart when doing my reading, I started believing more and more in my capacity in writing. And, yes, there will be a follow-up to the first book, a second one with the title «Leonard and Lea» which will be published in 2019.

A wonderful moment and very reassuring had also been when I discussed with the New Yorker publishing house, Morgan James, about how my book will be printed and sold in July 2019 in the States, in England and in Australia. I got so many compliments by the editor board for the story and the book itself. It might sound crazy, but I couldn’t believe that I had created this book when I heard them talking about it. Honestly, I got goose pumps when I read the description of my book written by their marketing department because it sounded so great.

This book is also the starting point of my new business which is to help people to write their books, to give them the confidence they might be lacking of as I did and to get them to this wonderful moment in their lives where they open the first page of their printed book or published e-Book and they feel overwhelmed and have goose pumps.

I want to encourage people to write what they want to share with the world. I want to help women and men not to hold back their stories, their experiences and their knowledge, because it is so amazing what I receive when I dared to share my story: a great assurance of myself that there is a sense in being on this planet, and there is a mission I am asked to fulfill: helping others to write their books. It might sound strange to some of you, but I don’t know how may times I was willing to leave this world because I didn’t see any sense of being here any more. This could be the story of a book for adults I will be writing some day. We will see.

I am very grateful for having met wonderful, inspiring business coaches in the last 12 months, who empowered me to take action, among them are Kane and Alessia Minkus, Kevin Paetz and Michelle Masters. Thank you so much for your guidance and encouragement and thanks as well for this amazing community I met through you.

Conversation between brothers: Scene 24

Conversation between brothers: Scene 24

1 pm in the kitchen while cleaning the dishes

 

Big boy:        “When did you shower last?”
Little boy:     “Why are you asking?”
Big boy:        “Well, you smell!”
Little boy:     “None of your business!”
Big boy:        “And look at your hair style!”
Little boy:     “Anything wrong with my hair?”
Big boy:        “Check the mirror, mate!”
Little boy:     “What’s wrong with you?”
Big boy:        “And when did you change your T-shirt?”
Little boy:     “This morning!”
Big boy:        “No, it’s the same as yesterday!”
Little boy:      “I have two of this kind.”
Big boy:        “Can I smell it?”
Little boy:     “No.”
Big boy:        “See! You didn’t change.”
Little boy:     “Stop bothering me!”
Big boy:        “One last question: Did you shower yesterday?”
Little boy:     “Don’t know.”
Big boy:        “The day before?”
Little boy:     “For you: four days ago…!”
Big boy:        “Definitely.”
Little boy:     “And don’t come that close.”
Big boy:        “But I like you.”
Little boy:     “Keep away from me!”
Big boy:        “You know: girls don’t like bad smelling boys.”
Little boy: “How do you know? Did your girlfriend tell you?”
Big boy:        “What? Girlfriend?”
Little boy:     “I saw you hanging around with that blond girl yesterday.”
Big boy:        “She’s not my girlfriend.”
Little boy:     “Ah…!”
Big boy:        “I helped her with our homework in French.”
Little boy:     “I saw you flirting!”
Big boy:        “Talking to a girl means flirting?”
Little boy:     “I’m sure you like her.”
Big boy:        “And your girlfriend?”
Little boy:     “Ha, ha…. ”
Big boy:        “Doesn’t she love you anymore?”
Little boy:     “What do you know?”
Big boy:        “I’m sure, when you wash your hair more often…”
Little boy:     “Stop!”
Big boy:        “You didn’t get up in a good mood today.”
Little boy:     “You know what?”
Big boy:        “Tell me, little brother!”
Little boy:     “Y o u  are in a bad mood!”
Big boy:        “Only because I talked about shower?”
Little boy:     “Leave me alone!”
Big boy:        “I’ll get you a fresh T-shirt!”
Little boy:     “I’ll get you some strokes?”
Big boy:        “Wanna knock me down?”
Little boy:     “I will!”
Big boy:        “Do you dare?”
Little boy:     “And if I dare!”
Big boy:        “Come on. Show me!”
Little boy:     “You know what? Clean up the kitchen alone.”
Big boy:        “Mum… he is so mean. He left without finishing the dishes.”

 

 

Read “Conversation between brothers. Scene 23”

 

 

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Conversation between brothers: Scene 23

Conversation between brothers 23_swissmadestory.ch

Conversation between brothers: Scene 23

16.15 am after school

 

Little boy:    “Did you listen to what mom said?”
Big boy:        “No… why?”
Little boy:    “Don’t disturb me…”
Big boy:        “Oh… poor you… you’re feeling disturbed…”
Little boy:    “Yes… I said stop…”
Big boy:        “Oh… yes, I heard that. What’s your problem?”
Little boy:    “I have to do my homework now.”
Big boy:        “Go on…”
Little boy:    “But you’re disturbing me.”
Big boy:        “Oh… my little brother…”
Little boy:    “Leave me now…”
Big boy:        “Well… I see you want to do your homework.”
Little boy:    “Yes.”
Big boy:        “You’re such a eager beaver.”
Little boy:    “Stop insulting me…”
Big boy:        “Oh. You’re feeling insulted. Poor you.”
Little boy:    “Yes. Go away…!”
Big boy:        “Oh. You’re such an excellent scholar.”
Little boy:    “Stopppppp. ”
Big boy:        “Okay… you’re such an intelligent boy…!”
Little boy:    “Stopppppp.”
Big boy:        “You know. I’m cheesed off with school.”
Little boy:    “No wonder… with your intelligence!”
Big boy:        “Hey. Now, you’re insulting me. Stop.”
Little boy:    “Ha, ha, ha… you see how it feels!”
Big boy:        “I didn’t insult you as much as you did.”
Little boy:    “That’s what you think…”
Big boy:        “Yes…! But it’s true…!”
Little boy:    “No…!”
Big boy:        “Yes…! It’s true…!”
Little boy:    “No…!”
Big boy:        “Yes…!
Little boy:    “Stop!”
Big boy:        “You started!”
Little boy:    “No. You did.”
Big boy:        “Oh. What a liar.”
Little boy:    “Come on.”
Big boy:        “Mom. He’s so mean.”

 


Conversation between brothers: Scene 22

Conversation between brothers 22_swissmadestory.ch

Conversation between brothers: Scene 22

4.10 p.m. on a holiday afternoon

Big boy:        “Who is your girl-friend?”

Little boy:    “I don’t have any girl-friend.”

Big boy:        “What? Are you sure?”

Little boy:    “Sure enough.”

Big boy:        “But who’s writing you messages?”

Little boy:    “You’re so curious.”

Big boy:        “Tell me!”

Little boy:    “How about your girl-friend?”

Big boy:        “Girl-friend?”

Little boy:    “Yes. Come on!”

Big boy:        “I don’t have. Girls are all b…!”

Little boy:    “I don’t believe you.”

Big boy:        “You know my school mates.”

Little boy:    “What’s wrong with them?”

Big boy:        “They behave in such a daffy way.”

Little boy:    “I know…”

Big boy:        “I cannot stand it.”

Little boy:    “I’m glad. The girls of my class are different.”

Big boy:        “Wait… they’ll soon be the same way.”

Little boy:    “O my god!”

Big boy:        “And they always stick together…”

Little boy:    “Yes… I saw them during the break.”

Big boy:        “I cannot talk to them any more.”

Little boy:    “Fortunately, we’re boys…”

Big boy:        “Oh… yes!”

 

 

 

 


 

Happy kite, happy day

Happy kite_swissmadestory.ch

Happy kite, happy day

 

Why do we think so much? Why do we worry so much?

It’s a bright day, and we are standing on our two legs. We’re smiling. We don’t think about what will be in the future and what has been in the past.

We’re feeling alive. We enjoy being here. Our kite is flying high.

Our jeans have got a hole, but we don’t care.

We’re talking to the crows wishing them a good flight.

Make a wish, and it will come true.

 
 
 

Christmas present for mom

Chrismas present_swissmadestory.ch

 
 

Christmas present for mom

I don’t feel old, but this memory dates from 43 years ago. A long time.

I could hardly wait until my mom opened my Christmas present. I was so proud of it. The thing I made at school. I had been working on it for hours.

When I brought it home after the last school day, I had to hide it until the Christmas Eve. A very long time.
And I hear my mom under the Christmas tree: “Oh, this is wonderful. You made this?” I was so happy for hours.

When little boy came home two days ago, we couldn’t eat until he had wrapped his thing from school and he could hand it out to me.

I unwrapped it very, very slowly looking many times into little boys’ eyes gathering his pride and happiness.

This moment will stay in my memory, too. Forever.

I’m so happy.
 
 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 21

Conversation between brothers 21_swissmadestory.ch.JPG

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 21

12.10 a.m. after school

Big boy:        “Did you bring home my things from school?”
Little boy:    “No!”
Big boy:        “What? You didn’t?”
Little boy:    “Yes. Why should I?”
Big boy:        “But we agreed you take my homework.”
Little boy:    “Yes, but you also left your sports cloths with your whole bag.”
Big boy:        “So, what did you bring home?”
Little boy:    “Just your folder with your homework.”
Big boy:        “Come on. This isn’t true.”
Little boy:    “Sure. It is.”
Big boy:        “You won’t allow you to play your game on my computer.”
Little boy:    “But, we agreed this morning.”
Big boy:        “But, you didn’t bring home my things.”
Little boy:    “Sure, just one folder. Nothing else.”
Big boy:        “So, you’ll get it at school for me.”
Little boy:    “No. I won’t. What do you think?”
Big boy:        “You have to… !”
Little boy:    “Not in my dreams…!”
Big boy:        “You won’t get my computer.”
Little boy:    “You promised me.”
Big boy:        “It’s your fault.”
Little boy:    “You’re so mean.”
Big boy:        “You are mean…!”
Little boy:    “No… you!”
Big boy:        “No… you!”
Mom:             “What’s going on?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Successful performing

Circus Pipistrello_swissmadestory.ch

 

Successful performing

I don’t know why I love the circus, perhaps, because it’s so creative. And I’m so glad my boys do like it, too.

They again spent one week in the circus, again in the circus band as last year. And they had to work hard to play during one hour and a half while their 90 colleagues were performing as clowns, acrobats, mimes and magicians.

Little boy played the electric bass guitar for the first time, and big boy was improvising as a French rapper – with success. I’m proud of them.

I won’t forget this special moment, and maybe, they will always remember later in their lives. I wish it for them, because being creative creates self-confidence – an important factor to be happy.

 

 

 

 

 


 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 18

Conversation between brothers 18 _swissmadestory.ch

Conversation between brothers: Scene 18

13.17 p.m. after lunch

Big boy:         “Hey, you have to clean up the kitchen.”

Little boy:      “It’s not my turn.”

Big boy:         “Sure. It’s yours. I did it last week.”

Little boy:      “Hmm…”

Big boy:         “You have to clean the pan and salad bowl, too.”

Little boy:      “No….”

Big boy:         “But, it’s part of it.”

Little boy:      “Do you think I do all this?”

Big boy:         “You have to.”

Little boy:      “Hmm …”

Big boy:         “It did it yesterday.”

Little boy:      “But, you didn’t clean the pans.”

Big boy:         “Sure, because I wanted to do something nice for mom.”

Little boy:      “Oh…”

Big boy:         “You could do something nice to her, too.”

Little boy:      “I don’t feel like it.”

Big boy:         “You are such an egoist.”

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 17

Conversations between brothers 17_www.esthersviewpoint.com

Conversation between brothers: Scene 17

12.35 p.m. at lunch

 

Big boy:         “He’s always correcting me, mom.”

Little boy:      “But you said it wrong.”

Big boy:         “But you’re making fun of me.”

Little boy:      “No. Not at all.”

Big boy:         “You think you know all better.”

Little boy:      “No. But you said it wrong.”

Big boy:         “Your tone is so mean.”

Little boy:      “Are you in a bad mood?”

Big boy:         “Mom, tell him to stop.”

Little boy:      “Oh… poor you.”

Big boy:         “I want to change place.”

Little boy:      “You don’t like me in front of you.”

Big boy:         “Yes, because you’re teasing me.”

Little boy:      “Oh… my brother is suffering.”

Big boy:         “Stop…”

Little boy:      “Oh… ”

Big boy:         “Mom, I want to sit in front of you.”

 

 

 

 

Grounded

Grounded with bare foot_www.esthersviewpoint.com

Grounded

I didn’t like being barefoot when I was a child. I had my woolen socks, knitted by my grandmother, and they definitely were my protection against too much life and summer action.

I loved spending my free afternoons on my bed reading stories about a courageous woman in Lhasa or an intelligent French lady having an unhappy love affair.

It was in India that I dared walking nearly barefoot during five weeks. I only had my flip-flops.

The first time in my life, I felt grounded by my bare feet.

Certain feelings take a long time to grow.

Birthday wish

Little boys birthday in India_www.esthersviewpoint.com

 

Some want to have a nice dinner for their birthday; some want to go shopping, and this boy wanted to go swimming in a pool.

Swimming pools and India don’t really belong together. But for little boy’s birthday wish, mothers have to make possible everything, even in India.

Of course, our little green paradise with our small hut didn’t help in this situation. As we hadn’t been in the middle of nowhere in India, a few hotels with pool standard were around.

And so, we sneaked in a well-known hotel where we had celebrated New Year’s two years before. We pretended being residents, and swoops… we jumped into the pool.

It was hard to get little boy out of the water. He’s a fish and uses to play for hours being a real fish.

The offer of having some sweets with his older brother in his favorite restaurant took his pool session to an end. Thank Goddess Sweets!

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 16

Conversation between brothers 16_www.esthersviewpoint.com

3.30 p.m. on a free Wednesday afternoon

Big boy:         “You’re not fat at all.”

Little boy:      “Look at my belly on the picture.”

Big boy:         “No, look here at my belly.”

Little boy:      “You haven’t got a belly at all.”

Big boy:         “But, if I press it between my fingers. It looks the same.”

Little boy:      “I won’t eat any more.”

Big boy:         “Come on. Eat your mars.”

Little boy:      “No, I won’t. And I won’t eat any more.”

Big boy:         “It’s how mom took the picture. Your belly is not fat.”

Little boy:      “It is…!”

Big boy:         “Don’t feel bad.”

Little boy:      “I feel bad…!”

Big boy:         “Look at you. You’re perfect.”

Little boy:      “I’m not.”

Big boy:         “Don’t say that…”

Little boy:      “Hmm…”

Big boy:         “Mom, tell him please…!”

Mom:              “It’s all my fault. You’re not fat at all.”

Mom:              “I didn’t take a good picture.”

Big boy:         “You see… my dear brother…!”

 

 

 

 

Taking care of his baby

Little boy with cat_www.esthersviewpoint.com

Little boy is a very sweet mother to his baby cat. But like mothers do, he’s often complaining that his Loulou is doing nasty things like jumping on the table or licking plates in the kitchen with unhealthy things for a little cat.

More and more, little boy is getting tired as well of being disturbed in his sleep at night by his little baby. The other day, he was even crying because he didn’t want to share his bed with it any more. “I need a good rest tonight”, he told me. And he asked me to take care of it that night.

Little boy was also very worried when Loulou played with a wasp and was probably stung by it. “It’s always licking with its tongue and it seems having tears in its eyes”, he reported me.

Together with his big brother, he gave it SOS pills – some homeopathic pills I used to give him when he was small child. And little boy was very proud: “Loulou swallowed one pill, I am sure.”

Taking care of his baby cat keeps little boy busier than he imagined before.

 

No chance with educating

Big boy and mother_www.esthersviewpoint.com

 

As I knew it will be hard to get back to mother’s rules.

The two boys are back from their vacation with their father and back from playing games and watching films, and it’s been a hard week.

And still, it is. After spending a Saturday with big boy while little boy is with his father I’m giving up – at eight o’clock in the evening.

Big boy wasn’t able to do something creative during the day. His drawing is still waiting to be finished. There are two eyes on the paper. That’s all.

He was restless, and I wasn’t capable to catch him with interesting ideas.

Okay, we went shopping and got a pump for our garden, and there is now the element water running as Feng Shui tells to do in order to calm down.

No chance, I wasn’t very successful with my big boy.

He’s now watching the film “Penguins in Madagascar” while I’m writing this.

I admit: Educating kids isn’t a picnic.

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 15

Conversation between brothers 15_www.esthersviewpoint.com

5.12 p.m. after school

Big boy:         “Why are you so late from school?”

Little boy:     “Am I late?”

Big boy:         “It’s 10 past 5 and your school finished at 4.20.”

Little boy:     “No, it was 4.30.”

Big boy:         “No. It’s always 4.20.”

Little boy:     “Okay… I had to walk back to get my bike.”

Big boy:         “But to walk back takes me five minutes.”

Little boy:     “But I didn’t walk fast.”

Big boy:         “You played games on the phone with your friend.”

Little boy:     “No…”

Big boy:         “Come on. Or you’ve played foot with your other friend.”

Little boy:     “No… I was alone walking back.”

Big boy:         “I don’t believe you.”

Little boy:     “Leave me now…”

Big boy:         “So, tell me what you’ve been doing.”

Little boy:     “I told you.”

Big boy:         “You don’t need 50 minutes…”

Little boy:     “Hmmm…”

Big boy:         “I’m sure you played games…”

Mom:             “Stop…! Please!”

 

Alive

 

Boy jumping_www.esthersviewpoint.com

 

 

My boys are teaching me – among a lot of things – one important thing: being open.

Being open for new experiences, new people, new places, new tastes, new colors, new feelings.

For example, I’ve never dreamt of going fishing, cleaning fishes and cooking them. And when you open our fridge right now, you find living mealworms. Thanks, Big Boy.

Or I didn’t have any experience in my childhood with playing with legos. But it feels satisfying lying on the floor of the living-room and putting together a VW bus of at least 10’000 pieces.

Or I wasn’t the typical game player when I was younger. But now I’m spending hours by playing Uno or Rummikub with Little Boy.

Being open isn’t an easy thing to do. But it gives me much more in return. And there will be more experiences in the future I’ve never dreamt of. I’m sure and open.

 

 

Believe

Featured image

 

It was in my first class. I was seven. I had to do those additions: 6+7=12 or 13? 5+8=24 or 23 or 22? I was looking at my fingers, counting, recounting and I was so nervous about these figures. They were turning around in my head.

I walked to my teacher, an elderly woman, a Mademoiselle, certainly not married, with heavy glasses and a strong voice. She sat at a table, two steps above the floor. She took my sheet of calculations. Her red pencil was like a weapon. She destroyed all my nice additions – with a red dash.

I stepped back to my pupil desk – with a red face.

It has been a real fight – my figures and me. My father, a professor of mathematics, was desperate.

My mother even cried when we left after the talk with my teacher. How could I do this? Her daughter was so stupid. It was her first big crisis as a parent.

Wednesday afternoon, when my friends used to play on the street, I sat with my father repeating additions. As I couldn’t concentrate well, he closed the rolling shutters and we sat under the artificial light.

“Your daughter won’t be able to go to a high school later”, my teacher said to my father.

My father believed her and not in me.

 
 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 13

Featured image
 

12.45 a.m. first day of summer vacation

Little boy:     “Where is my coffee?”

Big boy:         “What…?”

Little boy:     “You promised me a cold coffee.”

Big boy:         “I beg you pardon.”

Little boy:     “Don’t you remember?”

Big boy:         “What…?”

Little boy:     “For sure. We made a bet and I was right.”

Big boy:         “What? A bet?”

Little boy:     “We were looking for the right name of a film.”

Big boy:         “Okay. Right! I owe you a cold coffee.”

Little boy:     “I want it now…!”

Big boy:         “I can make you one now.”

Little boy:     “But, I want a cold one from the shop.”

Big boy:         “I don’t want to spend money.”

Little boy:     “But you promised me.”

Big boy:         “I’m always short of money…!”

Little boy:     “But, you lost our bet.”

Big boy:         “Hey… you cannot ask me when I’ve so little money…”

Little boy:     “This isn’t my problem…”

Big boy:         “Come on. Don’t be so mean.”

Little boy:     “So… when do I get my coffee…?”
 
 

Childhood memories

Featured image

 
While a lot of friends of mine spent their summer vacation on the seaside, my father decided that hiking in the Swiss mountains was the best thing to do with his family.

My brother and me tried to have fun with our father’s hobby. But we were very often “like a cat and a mouse” as my mother used to say.

Being a mother myself, it isn’t surprising to me.

Hanging around with children of the same age is much more interesting than carrying a backpack for a week with always the same menu, dry bread, jerky, dry apples, dry apricots and water.

And the highlight of the week was a liter of apple juice divided by four at the restaurant.

I think our dog did enjoy this much more than me.
 
 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 11

Featured image

7.15 a.m. in the living-room before school

Big boy:         “Why are you crying?”

Little boy:     “I didn’t do my housework…”

Big boy:         “But is this so bad?”

Little boy:     “I’ll get a red point as punishment.”

Big boy:         “Well…that’s not this bad.”

Little boy:     “I’ve already one red point…”

Big boy:         “Well… I already did so many extra exercises.”

Little boy:     “But I didn’t. For me it’s bad.”

Big boy:         “Come on. You will survive…”

Little boy:     “No… I don’t want to go to school.”

Big boy:         “Tell your teacher you didn’t have time yesterday.”

Little boy:     “But I got this homework a week ago.”

Big boy:         “Okay… then you have to put up with a red point.”

Little boy:     “…and I didn’t learn my dictation.”

Big boy:         “Well… Shall I tell you how I do?”

                       “Every free minute, during the break or

whenever I’ve to wait for something,

I look at the sentences.

And I try to memorize them.”

Little boy:     “But I didn’t copy it at all.”

Big boy:         “You’ve got still half hour before school starts.”

Little boy:     “Oh…. (still sobbing).”

Big boy:         “Come on. You’ll manage this.”

Little boy:     “Okay… (starts writing).”

Big boy:         “You see… it’s not that bad…!”
 
 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 9

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7.37 a.m. before leaving for school

Big boy:         “Can I borrow your headphones again?”

Little boy:     “Why don’t you take yours?”

Big boy:         “They’re broken. Can I?”

Little boy:     “No, I don’t give them.”

Big boy:         “Oh, come on!”

Little boy:     “You’re always breaking my things.”

Big boy:         “No, this isn’t true.”

Little boy:     “I remember very well.”

Big boy:         “Come on, just for today.”

Little boy:     “Buy you new headphones.”

Big boy:         “I can’t. School is starting soon.”

Little boy:     “Well, this isn’t my problem.”

Big boy:         “But you don’t need yours today!”

Little boy:     “No, but I don’t want to lend.”

Big boy:         “Oh, you’re such a coward.”

Little boy:     “And you’re always insulting me…”

Big boy:         “Yes, because you’re deserving it.”

Little boy:     “Stop now…”

Big boy:         “You’re such a snob.”

Little boy:     “Mom, he’s insulting me again.”

Big boy:         “Oh dear! …mama’s boy!”

Conversation between brothers: Scene 8

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17.46 p.m. on the cycle ride under the rain

Little boy:     “I’ll take a bath when we’re back home.”

Big boy:         “Oh, good idea!”

Little boy:     “But I want to be alone in the tub.”

Big boy:         “Oh, no!”

Little boy:     “I like to chill and relax.”

Big boy:         “Okay, no problem with me!”

Little boy:     “But you’re always disturbing me.”

Big boy:         “Come on…”

Little boy:     “Mm…”

Big boy:         “I want to chill too.”

Little boy:     “But we don’t have enough space.”

Big boy:         “Come on. Let’s try once more.”

Little boy:     “You always want to do the same things as me!”

Big boy:         “No. This isn’t true.”

Little boy:     “But it is…”

Big boy:         “It’ll feel great in the tub after this rain.”

Little boy:     “Sure. But you can take your bath after me.”

Big boy:         “But we could chill together!”

Little boy:     “Mm…”

Big boy:         “Okay?”

Little boy:     “Oh… okay!”

Big boy:         “Thank you… little brother!”

Conversation between brothers: Scene 7

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7.05 p.m. in the kitchen

Big boy:         “Good morning, my sweet little brother.”

Little boy:     “Mm…”

Big boy:         “Come to me, I’d like to give you a kiss.”

Little boy:     “What’s going on?”

Big boy:         “Why?”

Little boy:     “You’re never in such a good mood.”

Big boy:         “Aren’t you happy when I’m like this?”

Little boy:     “It’s totally unusual.”

Big boy:         “So what?”

Little boy:     “I cannot believe it.”

Big boy:         “Well…”

Little boy:     “You seem so artificial.”

Big boy:         “And…?”

Little boy:     “What’s the reason for your good mood?”

Big boy:         “I feel great today.”

Little boy:     “Just like this?”

Big boy:         “I’m looking forward to my school night walk.”

Little boy:     “Aha…”

Big boy:         “Aren’t you happy with me?”

Little boy:     “You should be going on a night walk every day.”

Big boy:         “Why?”

Little boy:     “I’d be so much more comfortable with you…”

Conversation between brothers: Scene 4

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Dinner table at 18.31 p.m.

Big boy:         “Which movie shall we watch tonight?”

Little boy:     “Do you think Mom will allow us this?”

Big boy:         “Sure. She already agreed.”

Little boy:     “I didn’t hear it.”

Big boy:         “She will certainly say yes. I know.”

Little boy:     “Last week-end she said: no movies anymore.”

Big boy:         “Come on. She was angry with us.”

Little boy:     “Yes. I know.”

Big boy:         “She will change her mind.”

Little boy:     “I’m not sure about this.”

Big boy:         “Which movies do you choose?”

Little boy:     “I’m sure she won’t allow.”

Big boy:         “We’ll convince her.”

Little boy:     “You won’t succeed. I know her.”

Big boy:         “Come on. Don’t be so pessimistic.”

Little boy:     “Okay. You try to convince her.”

Big boy:         “Why always me?”

Little boy:     “You wanted to watch a film.”

Big boy:         “But you do like watching, too.”

Little boy:     “Sure. But it was your idea.”

Big boy:         “My brother: you’re such a kill-joy.”

Little boy:     “Thanks. And you’re so boring with your ideas.”

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 3

Boys daily life 3_www.esthersviewpoint.com

Bathroom at 17.31 p.m.

Little boy:      “Hey, you put on my grey track pants.”

Big boy:          “No, this isn’t true.”

Little boy:      “I am sure they are mine.”

Big boy:          “Come on. You don’t know yours.”

Little boy:      “I am sure I always put them at the same place.”

Big boy:          “No, no…”

Little boy:      “Take them off. Now.”

Big boy:          “That’s what you want.”

Little boy:      “Yes, right now.”

Big boy:          “They are mine.”

Little boy:      “I am sure you put your pants somewhere else.”

Big boy:          “No, no…”

Little boy:      “Take off my track pants!”

Big boy:          “Tell me where are mine?”

Little boy:      “You are such a messy.”

Big boy:          “Don’t blame me.”

Little boy:      “You might have put them in your room.”

Big boy:          “Okay, show me.”

Little boy:      “I’m not that stupid to look for your things.”

Big boy:          “Well, then I keep your pants. Okay?”

Little boy:      “No. You’re so mean.”

Big boy:          “If you want your pants, you’ve to get them.”

Little boy goes to big boys’ room, gets his pants and comes back.

Big boy:          “Don’t throw them at me.”

Little boy:      “These are your pants and this is the last time.”

Big boy:          “Okay. Okay. Professor. You’re so smart.”

Little boy:      “Mom. He is so mean to me.”

Big boy:          “Ha, ha… you’re such a sneak.”

Mother:          “Stoppppppp!”

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 1

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Bathroom at 6.45 a.m.: 

Big boy:          “Why do you look at me this way?”

Little boy:      “What’s the problem?”

Big boy:          “Stop starring at me.”

Little boy:      “Did you get up with the wrong foot?”

Big boy:          “You look terrible today.”

Little boy:      “You’re in such a bad mood.”

Big boy:          “I was in good mood before I met you.”

Little boy:      “I don’t believe you. You started this.”

Big boy:          “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Get your hair brushed.”

Little boy:      “Leave me in peace.”

Big boy:          “Your hair looks awful. Didn’t you look in the mirror.”

Little boy:      “Get out of the bathroom. You’re disturbing me.”

Big boy:          “You’re disturbing me. I was in first. You have to leave.”

Little boy:      “Oh, you’re in such a bad mood.”

Big boy:          “Leave me in peace. Otherwise I show you the way out.”

Little boy:      “Let me go. Don’t touch me.”

Big boy:          “It is your fault. You started all this.”

Little boy:      “Shall I show you who is the stronger of us two?”

Big boy:          “Stop beating me.”

Little boy:      “It is your fault.”

Big boy:          “No, it is all your fault.”

Little boy:      “No… ”

Big boy:          “For sure. Yours…”

Mother:          “Stoppppppp! Come on… Breakfast is ready!”
 
 

The world belongs to him

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When I was as old as my little boy, nine years old, I was a quiet, timid girl being very afraid of talking to other people than my family and blushing when I had to talk to the teacher during the classes.

I don’t know how I survived so many displeasing situations in the public because I was so shy having tears always quickly at hand, which made me more timid and I hated it so much.

How did I become so courageous to speak out in public and to write critiques for newspapers?

Little boy won’t have any problems. The world belongs to him.

Fortunately.

Some people get this capability for free; some people have to work for it hard as I had to.

I am happy for all the people who are like my little boy.

 
 

Jealousy

Sunny boy_www.esthersviewpoint.com

 
 
Little boy is a very sunny, caring and clever kid, and his self-confidence is big. I often tell him how great he is.

For example, during his violin lesson he is talking without fear telling his teacher why it has been difficult to rehearse, why it has been easy to play this way and why he is excited about this piece and what he would like to play and what he doesn’t like and so on and so on.

It isn’t easy to cope with a child like this. His violin teacher as well as one of his schoolteachers is very fond of him and his attitude. His second schoolteacher can’t cope with him.

Little boy told me once: “I’ve got the impression that Mrs. B. doesn’t like me. Do you think I am wrong?” Unfortunately, I had to confirm his presumption because as I know Mrs. B. I am convinced that in her childhood she couldn’t be the child she wanted to be and she didn’t get the necessary acknowledgement by her parents.

Seeing little boy with all his enthusiasm and positive radiation she must feel jealous of his entire positive attitude to life and people.

I feel sorry for my boy as well as for his teacher.

 

Motherly love

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It took me quite a while to realize what it means being a mom.

My own mother told me so many times that I’ll be remembering her when I’ll be having my own children. She used to say so when she was upset with me. And as I remember, she was it very often because I wasn’t the girl she wanted me to be.

I always translated her threat this way: Being a mom isn’t a very nice thing to be. It brings you a lot of frustration and worries, and children aren’t grateful for all the work you do for them. And I believed her because I saw her feeling disappointed by me so many times and because she never told me that having children opens your heart and your mind.

When I look at my two boys today, I realize what my mother didn’t feel.

I appreciate so much that the boys came into my life. I am proud of being their mom. My relationship with them is the most special one I ever had, and I finally feel the tie, which will always be between big and little boy and me: it is love.

 
 

Dare in the circus

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Circus means childhood. And I wanted to go back to KNIE, our big, almost 100 year old Swiss Circus – the first time with my two boys.

I was seven when my German grandfather wanted to go with me to KNIE. As I had already been with my mom two days ago, I knew the solution of the games they played with children before starting the show.

So, I stood in the big arena, with the smell of the sawdust and wild animals, and answered the question of the quiz by my shy, small voice and won a red piggy bank with five Swiss francs in it.

My grandfather was so proud of me. He fed my pig right away with another five francs, and back home, we had to convince my mom of the story. She didn’t want her daughter being so clever.

Today, I am so proud of my two clever boys, and we three enjoyed the circus show very much.

 
 

The gift of friendship

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Being together with some friends means enjoying life. I don’t need to be very intellectual or very funny. I am just the way I am.

I remember when my parents invited their friends, my family had to spend some very dumb hours. My father tried to talk as intelligently as possible. My mother tried to tell funny stories about our pets and about my brother and me.

Very often, my father was making fun of my mother and vice versa; and the guests tried to help the one or the other in order to prevent a big scene.

When the invitees left, the invitation always ended in a nasty fight between my mom and my dad. I don’t remember it without it. Never.

Nowadays, when my friends leave, I feel nurtured by love. It is as if I received a great gift.

 

 

Talking like a fish

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First, he didn’t want to talk. He was three years old when the doctor asked me rather worried whether he was talking at all. I didn’t notice much his incapability because he was the first child.

We had to see a speech therapist every week. My boy didn’t like it too much but he went there bravely.

Two years passed, he spoke a little bit more but not as the others. He seemed happy and we always understood what he wanted to say.

When he had to go to the kindergarten, his situation slightly changed because his teacher and the other children didn’t get always what was his point of view.

The speech therapist told us that she couldn’t do more and she sent us to a psychiatrist.

My boy was very brave. He went there three times a week, although he didn’t like it again very much.

Suddenly, we noticed that he had a tremendous passive vocabulary. He started explaining difficult words to his little brother. From time to time, he still mixed up the order of the words in his sentences. But everybody understood him.

And today? He speaks like a boy of his age with a surprisingly bigger vocabulary than his brother or his friends and with as much swearwords as his schoolmates. Everything is fine with my small slot ear.

Dreaming of dogs and cats

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While taking this picture of my younger son today, I remembered when I was his age; and we had summer vacation. I felt so happy and free of all school stuff.

I spent some weeks with my grandmother and was playing all day long with my cousins. Only at mealtime, I had to go home to eat together with my grandfather and my grandmother.

For the rest of the time, I was hanging around in the backyard, riding my bicycle for hours, taking care of my grandmother’s rabbits or visiting the few week old kittens on the pavement of my uncle’s company. And I wished to have my own pet. A dog or a cat – that was there just for me, to sit with, to talk to and to caress.

My turtle I had since I was five wasn’t actually my thing. I wanted something furrier.

Then, my mom allowed me to have a guinea pig. But my dream of a dog or a cat stayed.

 

 

Orange trousers

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When you have to start your day with a discussion about orange trousers, I guess you have pubescent teenagers in your household, too.

If you don’t live with kids, I guess you imagine this discussion rather funny.

But I tell you: it is not funny at all. Big boy puts on his younger brother’s trousers because he thinks them being so much cooler than all his collection of jeans.

Little boy doesn’t have a big collection of jeans but just two pairs of trousers and only one pair washed at the moment: the orange ones.

Big boy being pubescent thinks that he couldn’t go to school this day without orange trousers.

I guess you think it will be easy to handle that this pair of trousers will be handed from Big boy to Little boy.

No, you are wrong because you don’t know how teenagers are functioning.

They want to argue half an hour, they want to check out the limits and nerves of their mothers. And as their mother you have to argue if you want to or not.

Today, three days after the discussion, I am already laughing. But I tell you: honestly, I was so angry and felt so powerless that special morning.

Progressing

Painting_www.esthersviewpoint.com

 

When I was a teenager, I used to write down my thoughts in a diary.

Those moments were very important to me, lying on me bed and trying to describe how I got along with my parents, teachers and friends.
But re-reading my diary after weeks, months or years was even more important to me.

Because I could feel again how I felt when I wrote it down. And it made me feel more mature looking at me from a certain distance.

It made me believe that I was progressing.

Nowadays without diary, I feel I am turning around.

There are always similar reflections and deductions.

And there is no final conclusion.

 
 

Too many pictures

Myself_www.esthersviewpoint.com

 

I see myself from the outside; I see myself from the inside.

I am standing in between.

It isn’t me what I see. I am different.

You look at me and you recognize me.

I am trying the same thing: I would like to recognize me.

But I always get a different picture.

I’d like to be like you: I wished I could see me as you see me.

In one clear picture.

Otherwise, it is so confusing.

 
 

Happy childhood

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I don’t have a lot of memories of my childhood playing together with other children.

Maybe, it is because my mother wanted us, my brother and me, to be around her when we came back from school.

Maybe, she was feeling so lonely at home when we were at school and she was happy to have company when school was off.

She was upset when I spent the whole afternoon on my bed in my room reading books.

She wasn’t happy when I brought my friend with me and when we were knitting pullovers and drinking tea during our free afternoons on Wednesdays.

I should have been my mom’s unique friend.

What a destiny: Being born for replacing her difficult childhood during World War II by a happy motherhood.

 
 

Instruction manual for life

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There is this little smile, shy but secured because of the glass wall in-between.

It is like her parents are protecting her fragile childhood.

So, this little Indian girl can grow and ripe and getting prepared for the future.

The glass wall will be disappearing more and more. She will get into contact with classmates, teachers, neighbors, and her parent’s friends.

More and more, she will get responsible for protecting herself of displeasing things and people. Nobody will be able to do this for her.

One can hope, that her parents will provide her an elaborate instruction manual for life.

If not, I know how it feels. One has to find out so many things by oneself, and it will be an agitated journey.