Life is a firework

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Life is like an explosion. It starts like a normal Monday. But it wasn’t a normal day.

I am sure you had your normal Monday coming back to work from the weekend, a bit lazy and still dreaming of doing nothing.

Me instead, for the first time in my life since I finished my studies, I started my Monday without being engaged by a company.

For the first time, I am free, working for the people I like to.

You might say: Okay, so what….

You’re right. But after nearly 20 years, it’s very special to me.

Life is like a firework. Don’t you know these kinds of passages in your life?

If not, remember me: suddenly, there will be an unexpected explosion you never dreamt of and your life will change.

Don’t ask me what will come after the explosion. I don’t know either at the moment.
 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 13

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12.45 a.m. first day of summer vacation

Little boy:     “Where is my coffee?”

Big boy:         “What…?”

Little boy:     “You promised me a cold coffee.”

Big boy:         “I beg you pardon.”

Little boy:     “Don’t you remember?”

Big boy:         “What…?”

Little boy:     “For sure. We made a bet and I was right.”

Big boy:         “What? A bet?”

Little boy:     “We were looking for the right name of a film.”

Big boy:         “Okay. Right! I owe you a cold coffee.”

Little boy:     “I want it now…!”

Big boy:         “I can make you one now.”

Little boy:     “But, I want a cold one from the shop.”

Big boy:         “I don’t want to spend money.”

Little boy:     “But you promised me.”

Big boy:         “I’m always short of money…!”

Little boy:     “But, you lost our bet.”

Big boy:         “Hey… you cannot ask me when I’ve so little money…”

Little boy:     “This isn’t my problem…”

Big boy:         “Come on. Don’t be so mean.”

Little boy:     “So… when do I get my coffee…?”
 
 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 12

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3.40 p.m. in the living-room after school

Little boy:     “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Big boy:         “Hmm… (sobbing).”

Little boy:     “What happened?”

Big boy:         “Well… two class mates wanted to beat me?”

Little boy:     “Just like this?”

Big boy:         “No, because I’m talking too much to E…”

Little boy:     “Oh… they’re just jealous of you.”

Big boy:         “I like talking to E. She is nice.”

Little boy:     “Sure, she is a nice girl.”

Big boy:         “But, they told me not to talk to her.”

Little boy:     “But, they cannot do this.”

Big boy:         “They warned me. They’ll beat me.”

Little boy:     “But, you won’t let them do!”

Big boy:         “They followed me all the way back home.”

Little boy:     “Why don’t you tell your teacher?”

Big boy:         “They warned me. If I tell him…”

Little boy:     “But, you won’t waste your time with these two guys.”

Big boy:         “Hmm…. (sobbing).”

Little boy:     “Come on. You’re stronger than them!”

Big boy:         “I know… (but still sobbing).”
 
 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 10

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7.20 p.m. in the car after shopping

 

Little boy:     “…you still owe me a new gun.”

Big boy:         “It wasn’t my fault that it’s broken.”

Little boy:     “Who’s fault is it then?”

Big boy:         “I don’t’ have any money.”

Little boy:     “Why…?”

Big boy:         “I already owe Dad 50 Swiss francs.”

Little boy:     “But I don’t want to wait.”

Big boy:         “But you know I have debts.”

Little boy:     “This isn’t my problem.”

Big boy:         “You’re so mean.”

Little boy:     “What?”

Big boy:         “You’re pushing me.”

Little boy:     “I just want a replacement for my gun.”

Big boy:         “You’re making me feel so bad.”

Little boy:     “Why?”

Big boy:         “It’s not fun being in debt.”

Little boy:     “Well, this isn’t my problem.”

Big boy:         “You’re so mean.”

Little boy:     “Why?”

Big boy:         “You don’t know how it feels for me.”

Little boy:     “Yes, because I’m not always spending all my money.”

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 9

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7.37 a.m. before leaving for school

Big boy:         “Can I borrow your headphones again?”

Little boy:     “Why don’t you take yours?”

Big boy:         “They’re broken. Can I?”

Little boy:     “No, I don’t give them.”

Big boy:         “Oh, come on!”

Little boy:     “You’re always breaking my things.”

Big boy:         “No, this isn’t true.”

Little boy:     “I remember very well.”

Big boy:         “Come on, just for today.”

Little boy:     “Buy you new headphones.”

Big boy:         “I can’t. School is starting soon.”

Little boy:     “Well, this isn’t my problem.”

Big boy:         “But you don’t need yours today!”

Little boy:     “No, but I don’t want to lend.”

Big boy:         “Oh, you’re such a coward.”

Little boy:     “And you’re always insulting me…”

Big boy:         “Yes, because you’re deserving it.”

Little boy:     “Stop now…”

Big boy:         “You’re such a snob.”

Little boy:     “Mom, he’s insulting me again.”

Big boy:         “Oh dear! …mama’s boy!”

Conversation between brothers: Scene 5

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7.31 p.m. at the breakfast table:

Big boy:         “Who is your best friend at school?”
Little boy:     “I don’t have one, I have several?”

Big boy:         “But if you have to choose one?”

Little boy:     “Oh, this is difficult. I like many.”

Big boy:         “Come on. If you have to choose right now!”

Little boy:     “Oh, you ask difficult questions…”

Big boy:         “It isn’t difficult at all.”

Little boy:     “I’m different than you.”

Big boy:         “But do you have friends?”

Little boy:     “Sure. I told you.”

Big boy:         “So, can you name just one.”

Little boy:     “I like them all.”

Big boy:         “If you have to invite one.”

Little boy:     “I wouldn’t know.”

Big boy:         “Come on.”

Little boy:     “Okay. Maybe L…”

Big boy:         “Aha…”

Little boy:     “Or M…”

Big boy:         “You cannot make any decision.”

Little boy:     “How about you?”

Big boy:         “I know. It’s definitely A…”

Little boy:     “Okay. I knew… and you’re so snobbish.”

Conversation between brothers: Scene 4

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Dinner table at 18.31 p.m.

Big boy:         “Which movie shall we watch tonight?”

Little boy:     “Do you think Mom will allow us this?”

Big boy:         “Sure. She already agreed.”

Little boy:     “I didn’t hear it.”

Big boy:         “She will certainly say yes. I know.”

Little boy:     “Last week-end she said: no movies anymore.”

Big boy:         “Come on. She was angry with us.”

Little boy:     “Yes. I know.”

Big boy:         “She will change her mind.”

Little boy:     “I’m not sure about this.”

Big boy:         “Which movies do you choose?”

Little boy:     “I’m sure she won’t allow.”

Big boy:         “We’ll convince her.”

Little boy:     “You won’t succeed. I know her.”

Big boy:         “Come on. Don’t be so pessimistic.”

Little boy:     “Okay. You try to convince her.”

Big boy:         “Why always me?”

Little boy:     “You wanted to watch a film.”

Big boy:         “But you do like watching, too.”

Little boy:     “Sure. But it was your idea.”

Big boy:         “My brother: you’re such a kill-joy.”

Little boy:     “Thanks. And you’re so boring with your ideas.”

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 3

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Bathroom at 17.31 p.m.

Little boy:      “Hey, you put on my grey track pants.”

Big boy:          “No, this isn’t true.”

Little boy:      “I am sure they are mine.”

Big boy:          “Come on. You don’t know yours.”

Little boy:      “I am sure I always put them at the same place.”

Big boy:          “No, no…”

Little boy:      “Take them off. Now.”

Big boy:          “That’s what you want.”

Little boy:      “Yes, right now.”

Big boy:          “They are mine.”

Little boy:      “I am sure you put your pants somewhere else.”

Big boy:          “No, no…”

Little boy:      “Take off my track pants!”

Big boy:          “Tell me where are mine?”

Little boy:      “You are such a messy.”

Big boy:          “Don’t blame me.”

Little boy:      “You might have put them in your room.”

Big boy:          “Okay, show me.”

Little boy:      “I’m not that stupid to look for your things.”

Big boy:          “Well, then I keep your pants. Okay?”

Little boy:      “No. You’re so mean.”

Big boy:          “If you want your pants, you’ve to get them.”

Little boy goes to big boys’ room, gets his pants and comes back.

Big boy:          “Don’t throw them at me.”

Little boy:      “These are your pants and this is the last time.”

Big boy:          “Okay. Okay. Professor. You’re so smart.”

Little boy:      “Mom. He is so mean to me.”

Big boy:          “Ha, ha… you’re such a sneak.”

Mother:          “Stoppppppp!”

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 2

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Kitchen table at 12.16 p.m.:

Big boy:          “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Little boy:      “No, thank you.”

Big boy:          “Aren’t you in love with J.?”

Little boy:      “You’re crazy.”

Big boy:          “Come on. Tell me.”

Little boy:      “No, leave me in peace.”

Big boy:          “But I’m sure about it.”

Little boy:      “Come on. Stop. I hate girls.”

Big boy:          “No, you don’t. I know.”

Little boy:      “Perhaps you are in love with E.!”

Big boy:          “What? E……..?”

Little boy:      “Yes, you put perfume when we met her with her mother.”

Big boy:          “Are you crazy?”

Little boy:      “Mm…”

Big boy:          “She’s got already a boyfriend.”

Little boy:      “Aha…”

Big boy:          “But I saw you yesterday during the break with J.”

Little boy:      “You’re crazy.”

Big boy:          “I saw you.”

Little boy:      “Stop. You’re telling lies.”

Big boy:          “I just wanted to tease you. I admit.”

Little boy:      “But you’re in love with E… ?”

Big boy:          “Stop. She’s already taken.”

Little boy:      “Oooo…”

Big boy:          “Stop teasing me.”

Little boy:      “You started this.”

Big boy:          “No, no…. you started!”

Little boy:      “Oh, you don’t remember what you’re talking.”

Big boy:          “Sure I do. You don’t remember. You have Alzheimer’s.”

Mother:          “Stoppppppp! Eat and shut up.”

Conversation between brothers: Scene 1

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Bathroom at 6.45 a.m.: 

Big boy:          “Why do you look at me this way?”

Little boy:      “What’s the problem?”

Big boy:          “Stop starring at me.”

Little boy:      “Did you get up with the wrong foot?”

Big boy:          “You look terrible today.”

Little boy:      “You’re in such a bad mood.”

Big boy:          “I was in good mood before I met you.”

Little boy:      “I don’t believe you. You started this.”

Big boy:          “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Get your hair brushed.”

Little boy:      “Leave me in peace.”

Big boy:          “Your hair looks awful. Didn’t you look in the mirror.”

Little boy:      “Get out of the bathroom. You’re disturbing me.”

Big boy:          “You’re disturbing me. I was in first. You have to leave.”

Little boy:      “Oh, you’re in such a bad mood.”

Big boy:          “Leave me in peace. Otherwise I show you the way out.”

Little boy:      “Let me go. Don’t touch me.”

Big boy:          “It is your fault. You started all this.”

Little boy:      “Shall I show you who is the stronger of us two?”

Big boy:          “Stop beating me.”

Little boy:      “It is your fault.”

Big boy:          “No, it is all your fault.”

Little boy:      “No… ”

Big boy:          “For sure. Yours…”

Mother:          “Stoppppppp! Come on… Breakfast is ready!”
 
 

Jealousy

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Little boy is a very sunny, caring and clever kid, and his self-confidence is big. I often tell him how great he is.

For example, during his violin lesson he is talking without fear telling his teacher why it has been difficult to rehearse, why it has been easy to play this way and why he is excited about this piece and what he would like to play and what he doesn’t like and so on and so on.

It isn’t easy to cope with a child like this. His violin teacher as well as one of his schoolteachers is very fond of him and his attitude. His second schoolteacher can’t cope with him.

Little boy told me once: “I’ve got the impression that Mrs. B. doesn’t like me. Do you think I am wrong?” Unfortunately, I had to confirm his presumption because as I know Mrs. B. I am convinced that in her childhood she couldn’t be the child she wanted to be and she didn’t get the necessary acknowledgement by her parents.

Seeing little boy with all his enthusiasm and positive radiation she must feel jealous of his entire positive attitude to life and people.

I feel sorry for my boy as well as for his teacher.

 

Feeling sorry

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I feel so bad. We went to the hairdresser today, and as their father always tells the boys to cut their hair shorter, we did it.

Little boy is now running around with his winter woolen hat. He is so ashamed of his look. The picture shows the situation “before”, and it will take me a big while to be allowed to take another picture of little boy.

I remember when I left the hairdresser with curled hair many years ago, I went home crying. It felt as a robbery to my identity. And that’s why I can feel with little boy today.

I wonder how I can repair it. He will be telling me everyday, and I will be feeling sorry for a long time.

 
 

Long-term investment in a friendship

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They didn’t know each other. One came from Spain, one from Switzerland.

One wanted to be close to the other, the other one hated it. Black Tomcat always stood up and left the place when Tigress, the Spanish cat, came in its neighborhood.

Tigress stayed at home on the sofa, during Tomcat was chasing mice and enjoying long walks. Tigress always stood at the door when Tomcat came back.

A few months ago, Tigress was meowing very loud in the cellar. I didn’t get the point. She didn’t stop until I realized that Tomcat was locked in one of the cellar rooms.

After a year of sharing the same household, Tomcat obviously started to be friendlier; from time to time, he licked Tigress when she was very demonstratively standing in front of him and wished to be caressed. Or, Tomcat shares now their cat basket without meow.

A few days, they started fooling around, playing, turning and rolling on the floor. And after that, it seemed as if they were playing hide-and-seek.

What did I learn of Tigress?

Patience is a long-term investment and is certainly valuable for all sorts of relationships.

 

 

Big picture with holes

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Is it better to be concentrated on the moment and the details in life? Or is it worthwhile to have the big picture in mind?

When I see the big picture, I see all the details which aren’t the way I would like to have them to be. It is like a Swiss cheese landscape with holes.

When I try to concentrate on the moments in life, I am stuck to the details which are annoying me by their imperfection.

So, what is the best way to look at things?

I guess it needs a solution in between.

Difficult.
 

 

From far away

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There are pictures, and there are stories. I look at the picture and I see the story, which wants to be told.

I am standing with my naked feet in the sand on the beach. It is a very early morning. Nobody is already up.

It is this time between the times: between being awake and totally busy during the day.

There is much space to be filled in with floating pictures, memories and thoughts in my head.

There is much quiet to look at my life from very far away.

And there is time to find new combinations how my life could run in the future.

It would be nice to have such a moment every day, feeling the naked feet on the ground before starting into the daily hassle.

 
 

Difficult question

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Children don’t need a lot. A hot noodle soup in a tiny Tibetan restaurant in India makes them more than happy.

Back in Switzerland, it is much more difficult. There are so many more things. There is a school friend who has got his own iPhone; there is another friend who has his own computer in his room or there is even another one who has got already his own television.

It is difficult to teach children that one can be as happy as the others without these things.

In a lifetime, it takes many hours of discussions and re-discussions.

Probably, being a good example as an adult would be more effective but even more difficult.

Can I be happy with fewer things?

Difficult question.

 
 

Point of view

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Green isn’t the color I like very much. But when I saw this lamp in India, I changed my mind.

It doesn’t often happen that I change my mind. I like to stick to the things I am used to.

Since years I keep this painted wooden elephant from India in my kitchen, the colorful metallic bird from Indonesia in the living room or the funny cotton camel garland from Egypt at the entrance door.

Do you know the feeling when you come back home from some weeks of traveling and you look at all these things you were used to before?

Don’t you have the impression, you look at them from outside even though they have been your close friends since a long time?

Changing the point of view, changes many things or views.

Sometimes, it is helpful to get a healthy distance to habits, too.

 
 

Stored pictures

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Three weeks in India, four weeks back in Switzerland: four weeks of school, homework, getting up at times when one likes to sleep. Tough times.

But there are all the memories of our traveling in India.

Memories of rich experiences, of living two days in an Indian train, meeting so many different people, playing games on the mobile phone and eating ice cream with an Indian boy.

Or joking around with Tenzing, our “big brother” in a small hut which serves as living room, kitchen and sleeping room at the same time.

It is great to have all these pictures stored in our memory when daily life is difficult to stand.