Crazy life

Being a mother in Switzerland means doing all, and all means all: working 100 percent, looking after my two boys, taking care of the household, and above all trying to have a relationship with a man.

But let’s not talk about the fourth thing! This is another story. Let’s talk about the three other things which are in total already much too much.

I’m not complaining, not at all, because I wanted it this way. I certainly wanted to be a workingwoman and wanted to have kids. But nobody asked me whether I wanted to clean floors, change beds, wash cloths, fix lights, heating, shower nozzles, toilet boxes and so on and on.

I’d rather sit and write than arguing with youngsters about their consummation of computers and smartphones games or telling them twenty times to feed their pets, etc. But I’m not complaining, because I wanted to be divorced and educate my kids according to my style.

So, what’s the point, you may be asking? The point is that I cannot fill well all these roles because it would be a 300 percent job. And it’s pretty hard to confess that I’m not a perfect workingwoman, nor a good mother and at least a busy housewife. I’m constantly facing insufficiency.

And in order not to drive mad, I have to eliminate certain roles at certain times. Some days, I laugh at my kitchen disorder. Some days, I let the boys go on a long leash. Some days, I feel like writing and not working for money. And some days, I don’t know what should come first…

Can you follow me?

 

Traveling at home

 

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Everybody is gone: my boys on a cruise with their father, some friends in the States, in Greece, France, Italy and so on and on.

I am traveling in my mind.

I was again a student, hanging around at the river in Zurich discussing with my friends about Heidegger or Derrida, smoking my own made cigarettes and drinking red wine.

Or I met there a man I was very fond of and him as well of me, but he didn’t want to leave his girlfriend. She didn’t mind him seeing me from time to time. I couldn’t agree with this setting.

Or I remember how I was sunbathing there at the riverside on Sunday afternoons, reading heavy books and searching hard for an intelligently looking young man to talk to.

I spent many summers there, trying out different relationships. But my summer feeling kept always to be the same, and it came back when I visited this place a few days ago.

 

 

 

Conversation between brothers: Scene 11

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7.15 a.m. in the living-room before school

Big boy:         “Why are you crying?”

Little boy:     “I didn’t do my housework…”

Big boy:         “But is this so bad?”

Little boy:     “I’ll get a red point as punishment.”

Big boy:         “Well…that’s not this bad.”

Little boy:     “I’ve already one red point…”

Big boy:         “Well… I already did so many extra exercises.”

Little boy:     “But I didn’t. For me it’s bad.”

Big boy:         “Come on. You will survive…”

Little boy:     “No… I don’t want to go to school.”

Big boy:         “Tell your teacher you didn’t have time yesterday.”

Little boy:     “But I got this homework a week ago.”

Big boy:         “Okay… then you have to put up with a red point.”

Little boy:     “…and I didn’t learn my dictation.”

Big boy:         “Well… Shall I tell you how I do?”

                       “Every free minute, during the break or

whenever I’ve to wait for something,

I look at the sentences.

And I try to memorize them.”

Little boy:     “But I didn’t copy it at all.”

Big boy:         “You’ve got still half hour before school starts.”

Little boy:     “Oh…. (still sobbing).”

Big boy:         “Come on. You’ll manage this.”

Little boy:     “Okay… (starts writing).”

Big boy:         “You see… it’s not that bad…!”
 
 

Long-term investment in a friendship

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They didn’t know each other. One came from Spain, one from Switzerland.

One wanted to be close to the other, the other one hated it. Black Tomcat always stood up and left the place when Tigress, the Spanish cat, came in its neighborhood.

Tigress stayed at home on the sofa, during Tomcat was chasing mice and enjoying long walks. Tigress always stood at the door when Tomcat came back.

A few months ago, Tigress was meowing very loud in the cellar. I didn’t get the point. She didn’t stop until I realized that Tomcat was locked in one of the cellar rooms.

After a year of sharing the same household, Tomcat obviously started to be friendlier; from time to time, he licked Tigress when she was very demonstratively standing in front of him and wished to be caressed. Or, Tomcat shares now their cat basket without meow.

A few days, they started fooling around, playing, turning and rolling on the floor. And after that, it seemed as if they were playing hide-and-seek.

What did I learn of Tigress?

Patience is a long-term investment and is certainly valuable for all sorts of relationships.

 

 

Being prince and princess

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This is my prince I want to kiss. Will he be my man?

He will be bright, beautiful and sensitive. Very simple, isn’t it?

Kissing the frog and starting a relationship is very easy, too. What seems to be more complicated is certainly all what comes after.

I wish my prince to be different than he is because I imagined him more caring or selfless.

But the frog stays as it is and I cannot give him back.

Am I the princess I imagined to be?

 
 

Same same

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A cat is a cat, and a cat is eating, sleeping, walking and again eating, sleeping, walking. Nothing else. Right.

But a cat is more than that. A cat starts being in a relationship with the human being, which is taking care of it. At the beginning, the two, the cat and the human being, are connected on a low level. The more time they spend together the more they get involved.

Now, the one comes home, the other is standing behind the door and saying hello. Now, the one is making a tea, the other is coming to the kitchen to have a bite.

Isn’t it the same thing with a relationship between two human beings? Just a little bit more complicated?

In fact, the principle is exactly the same. The two beings are connected to each other and acting most of the time in correlation to each other. Right?