My classmates at high school told me 25 years later that they didn’t understand what was going on in my life at that time. I was like a gray mouse, they said. I always speak with a shy voice, and they hardly understood me. I had so much fear at that time. I remember. I felt so lost. My father was the principal of the other high school in town, and everybody of my teachers and colleagues knew my father’s position. I felt so ashamed. I was so much afraid that everyone was laughing at me when I opened my mouth.
This fear was so big. I remember I prayed to God that he helped me to get rid of it. But God wasn’t listening to me. When I was 20 years old, I decided to fire God, because I didn’t believe anymore that he would be helpful. I felt so much better after that. I decided to take control of my life.
Dismissing God helped me to get rid of my fear immensely. I became unstoppable. I wanted to experience all I liked: relationships, drugs, and have not the faintest bad conscience at all. This phase didn’t last too long.
I had to find a place to live, work to earn my living, and pass university exams. My fears came back, and I didn’t have any thought model to get rid of them. I tried it with psychology. This helped to a certain extent and during some time in my life.
As I dated the father of my two boys, the fear of losing the love of my life was huge. But that fear was nothing compared to the fear I felt when I was pregnant with my boys when they were born and started growing. Certainly, at night, I was spending many sleepless hours imagining what could happen to them. It was a whole nightmare.
Last year, I finally found relief by starting meditating, and great teachers showed me a way out of anxiety and fear. I decided to help as many people as possible with the topic of fear and started writing my book “Living without fear”.
My podcast with the same name was born during lockdown because of Covid-19 this year. Over 60 episodes have been played more than 2400 times in 52 countries.
You might have asked yourself in the past or you might have looked for methods how to overcome fear, but you haven’t found yet something which really appealed to you.
I try to summarize here what I think is important in dealing with fear.
The overwhelming feelings of fear and anxiety are always connected with time: with the past or the future. That’s why I believe we need to focus first on the element time. Secondly, we need to focus on making a conscious decision, and in a third step, we concentrate on making happen the change. Having time, decision, and change in mind, we are on a good way.
I created 9 beautiful thoughts, which always help me to change my state of mind from fearful to fearless.
My 9 powerful thoughts to live without fear:
- My painful experiences belong to the past. I consciously leave them there.
- What I have experienced in the past will not be repeated in the future.
- I concentrate fully on the moment I am experiencing now. I take a deep breath.
- I am grateful for what I have, for the person I am and for what I have already been able to learn in my life.
- I immediately bring fearful thoughts of the future back into my present.
- I realize that my fear of what awaits me in my future cannot change anything except that it makes me sick.
- I ask myself the question: Do I want to live in fear or without fear?
- I make the conscious decision: I let go of my past, I let go of my thoughts about the future. I do not think what will be in an hour, what will be tomorrow or in a year.
- I stay in the here and now and enjoy the moment – with myself, with the people and things that surround me right now.
It’s my deepest wish to give a shortcut to get away from the suffering and pain I experienced so many years.
If you like to write to me or to speak to me, I’d be more than happy to hear from you.
PS. Here are my 5 Keys To Increasing Your Self-Esteem. You can download them for free:
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I like 1&2 because it set the foundation as you said. Great post.
Dear Maude, thanks so much for your feedback. Great to hear that you no longer think of your past! I wish you beautiful journey with getting more of your life in the present! Sending you a lot of light and love!