Living Without Fear – How a Long-Held Dream Finally Became My Reality
Do you know the feeling of carrying a dream in your heart for years… and when it finally becomes real, you can hardly believe it?
That is exactly what happened to me with my book Living Without Fear. Today, I hold it in my hands as a printed book — and it still feels surreal. For years, this story lived inside me. The decision to finally write it was born during a powerful three-day workshop with Gerry Robert in Zurich. That moment planted a seed of courage that would change everything.
Finding the Courage to Announce My Book
At that workshop, I did something bold: I created my book cover and shared it across my social media platforms.
“I am now writing my book. It’s titled Living Without Fear. And you can ask me about it anytime. I will not give up until it is finished.”
For a brief moment, I felt unstoppable — proud, brave, alive.
But that feeling didn’t last long.
Self-doubt soon followed.
Questions crept in:
Who would want to read my story?
Who cares that I struggled with depression and recurring suicidal thoughts?
What value could my pain possibly bring to others?
And yet — every time I wrote a new chapter, I felt a deep inner knowing: This matters.
When Life — and Covid — Interrupted the Dream
Whenever I paused writing because life felt overwhelming, shame would rise inside me. I regretted having spoken so publicly about my book. Why hadn’t I just written it quietly and published it when it was ready?
Then Covid arrived — and everything changed.
Fear spread across the world. Collectively. Deeply.
I felt an inner responsibility to contribute something constructive during that time of uncertainty. But writing a book that wouldn’t reach readers until much later didn’t feel aligned.
So I paused my book project… and began something new:
My podcast — Living Without Fear.
Why I Started My Podcast in English
Shortly before the pandemic, I had traveled to South India with a group of women, sharing the culture, spirituality, and profound wisdom of that country.
I felt deeply connected to the people we met there. I wanted to send them daily messages of encouragement during the lockdowns.
That is why I chose to record my podcast in English — to reach them, to uplift them, to stay connected across continents.
I never imagined that some of those short, heartfelt podcast reflections would later become part of my book.
But they found their perfect place — especially in the second half of Living Without Fear, where I share daily inspirations on:
-
Self-love
-
Self-worth
-
Self-discovery
-
Emotional healing
-
Personal growth
The Long Road of Editing and Self-Doubt
For a long time, I postponed editing my manuscript. Other things always seemed “more important.”
Finding the right editor felt daunting. When I finally did, she surprised me. She told me my writing was fluid, authentic, and didn’t need heavy editing — only careful proofreading.
Still, sending her my text took enormous courage.
I feared she would say my thoughts needed major revision. Instead, she responded with encouragement. The proofreader did the same.
A former colleague read the entire book in one sitting and told me it had deeply touched her because our stories were so similar.
Each piece of feedback lifted me.
And yet… self-doubt still lingered.
Like an uninvited guest sitting comfortably on a sofa in my mind, whispering:
“Who do you think you are to inspire others?”
Reading My Story Again — and Again
When the proofread manuscript returned, I had to read my entire life story once more to approve the changes.
Later, when the English translation came back from London, I read it all over again — this time questioning everything:
Could I have written this better?
Should I delete this chapter?
Does this even make sense?
But something inside me had grown stronger than my doubts.
Working with the graphic designer meant reviewing the book yet again — in both German and English.
By then, the voices of self-doubt had grown faint.
The vision had become louder:
My book will be published.
Reaching the Point of “Enough Is Enough”
At some point, I simply knew:
Enough hesitation.
Enough overthinking.
Enough shrinking back.
Even if the book were criticized — I was ready.
Because I had already seen the impact.
My translator shared that the book helped her view her own challenges differently. In her writing group, one of the book’s reflections sparked meaningful change.
And just recently, I received a message from America saying the book was a joy to read and had inspired the writer to revisit his own work.
Moments like these reminded me why I began.
A Book to Help You Overcome Fear and Depression
Living Without Fear is more than my biography.
It is a companion for anyone who has:
-
Faced depression
-
Felt trapped in fear
-
Questioned their worth
-
Longed for inner peace
-
Wanted to heal and grow
My deepest wish is that this book offers you hope, courage, and gentle guidance — helping you move toward a life of greater joy, freedom, and peace within yourself and with the world around you.
You can find more details about the book or order it on Amazon.
With all my heart — thank you
To the many beautiful souls who stood beside me, believed in me, and helped bring this book into the world:
Abigail Graham, Adrian Ochsner, Annette Golaz, Barbara Tänzler, Bruno Dietziker, Claude Vollenweider, Conny Bisagno, Edeltraud Burgunder, Ewa Stürzinger, Istvan Juhasz, Märta Wydler, Milly Zurfluh, Richard White, Rita & Domenico Marrone, Susann Gassmann, and Walo Hauser.
Your support lives between every line of this book.