Being a mother in Switzerland means doing all, and all means all: working 100 percent, looking after my two boys, taking care of the household, and above all trying to have a relationship with a man.
But let’s not talk about the fourth thing! This is another story. Let’s talk about the three other things which are in total already much too much.
I’m not complaining, not at all, because I wanted it this way. I certainly wanted to be a workingwoman and wanted to have kids. But nobody asked me whether I wanted to clean floors, change beds, wash cloths, fix lights, heating, shower nozzles, toilet boxes and so on and on.
I’d rather sit and write than arguing with youngsters about their consummation of computers and smartphones games or telling them twenty times to feed their pets, etc. But I’m not complaining, because I wanted to be divorced and educate my kids according to my style.
So, what’s the point, you may be asking? The point is that I cannot fill well all these roles because it would be a 300 percent job. And it’s pretty hard to confess that I’m not a perfect workingwoman, nor a good mother and at least a busy housewife. I’m constantly facing insufficiency.
And in order not to drive mad, I have to eliminate certain roles at certain times. Some days, I laugh at my kitchen disorder. Some days, I let the boys go on a long leash. Some days, I feel like writing and not working for money. And some days, I don’t know what should come first…
Can you follow me?
As I knew it will be hard to get back to mother’s rules.
The two boys are back from their vacation with their father and back from playing games and watching films, and it’s been a hard week.
And still, it is. After spending a Saturday with big boy while little boy is with his father I’m giving up – at eight o’clock in the evening.
Big boy wasn’t able to do something creative during the day. His drawing is still waiting to be finished. There are two eyes on the paper. That’s all.
He was restless, and I wasn’t capable to catch him with interesting ideas.
Okay, we went shopping and got a pump for our garden, and there is now the element water running as Feng Shui tells to do in order to calm down.
No chance, I wasn’t very successful with my big boy.
He’s now watching the film “Penguins in Madagascar” while I’m writing this.
I admit: Educating kids isn’t a picnic.
It is our new baby: three months old, silky coat and not shy at all. Loulou tells our two other cats who is the boss in this house. Hissing und growling like a big old cat, this tiny thing already knows how to make upset the others.
The cat is the late birthday present for nine-year-old Little Boy, and he is the new mother of this creature. He takes his role very seriously. I found him yesterday sitting in his room with his cat, reading with his softest voice little stories to his four-legged friend and looking at me proudly like a mother with her baby.
This morning, Little Boy first complained when I woke him up with his cat. “Loulou crawled under my duvet tonight and bit me in my big toe”, he told me and asked, “do you know how much painful this was?” I understood very well. Although, he had been warned of these kinds of coincidences by the former cat mother.
But Little Boys’ dedication to Loulou is still unbroken. He didn’t have time to do his homework after school because it wanted to play with him and he found it an excellent idea.
Well, we’ll be talking soon to the cat in order to get some free minutes for homework.
My two boys are now on a cruise with their father. And I talked to Big Boy on the phone.
First thing he told me: “We don’t have Wi-Fi on board. It would cost 18 Euros half an hour. Do you understand, mom? Only for half an hour.”
Fortunately, they won’t stay all eight days on the ship. For example, there was a day trip to a Greek Island where they found a free Wi-Fi in a restaurant.
Second thing he told me: “There are so many people, mom. We try to find a quiet place from time to time.”
For sure, about 2500 passengers on this swimming hotel aren’t a small amount of people. I agree.
Third thing my twelve-year-old told me: “There is a game room on the ship. This is cool because you can play games for free.”
I am glad that I don’t have to discuss with my boys about the daily gaming time for the moment being, but certainly more intensively at their return. A withdrawal is always a hard thing to do.
And the good thing: They’ll be surely appreciating coming back to sweet, quiet home.
P.S. Thanks to the father for the picture.
It took me quite a while to realize what it means being a mom.
My own mother told me so many times that I’ll be remembering her when I’ll be having my own children. She used to say so when she was upset with me. And as I remember, she was it very often because I wasn’t the girl she wanted me to be.
I always translated her threat this way: Being a mom isn’t a very nice thing to be. It brings you a lot of frustration and worries, and children aren’t grateful for all the work you do for them. And I believed her because I saw her feeling disappointed by me so many times and because she never told me that having children opens your heart and your mind.
When I look at my two boys today, I realize what my mother didn’t feel.
I appreciate so much that the boys came into my life. I am proud of being their mom. My relationship with them is the most special one I ever had, and I finally feel the tie, which will always be between big and little boy and me: it is love.